right now, I am two people, probably more, but in the simplest terms, just two, with two totally different opinions.
Meet Jared:
Jared is an American student who is studying in France for a year. He has studied 5 units of French in American High School and has fallen in love with the French culture. Jared is extremely excited and happy to be in France. He knows the great experience he is getting, loves everything new that he has experienced, and is hungry to explore more. He has learned more about himself in the past month, than he did in the past couple years. Jared has been to some really cool places in France, done some very exciting new things, eaten some VERY delicious food, and some that was not so delicious, rather fishy, moist, and slimy, and met some very nice people. Jared has started to make real friends, and his French language skills, which he was banking on being adequate for the adjustment period...pff, have improved enough, so that he can have a real conversation. Jared is finding enjoyment in the smallest of things, the novelty of something being "so european" has become a daily discovery for Jared. Jared misses his family, but knows that they are all on their own adventures, and that in 9 months when they re-unite, they will tons of stories to tell each other; life will be good.
Meet Jared:
Jared is an American student trying to fit himself into the French way of life. He is a student at a school in the center of a medium-sized French city, which is very cool, but very overwhelming, and totally French! Jared's 5 units of French had not prepared him for the battles that he has fought, nor for the weeks, perhaps months, of battles that he still has to face. Jared tries to occupy most of his time with new experiences, but there is only so many things to do, and so many more hours in a day. Jared stays away from his computer as much as possible, but watching T.V. he doesn't understand is only funny for so long, then it's just plain sad. Jared is trying to make friends at school, and he seems to be succeeding, but he still spends a lot of time in between classes alone. The French, Jared has noticed, like to keep to themselves. They like to smoke their cigarettes and talk with their small group of friends; nothing wrong with it, but it makes it very hard for Jared to fit in. Jared does love the french food, but is fearful that he is gaining weight... god please grant Jared the motivation to exercise more than he already has been. Jared misses soccer, a lot! Jared also misses WARM September afternoons, American movies, and Cocopuff. The lack of a car is shocking for Jared.
All in all, Jared is suffering from a mild case culture-shock. He has made leaps and bounds since sunday morning, when he had a [one person conversation] in which he decided that he had no place in a foreign country... Jared now knows that he is doing this for himself, he is growing stronger everyday, and in 10 months he will think that it all went too fast.
Which Jared am I?
That's just the trick... I'm both, neither, and each one individually.
I love it here, I really do; everything about France is interesting to me, but sometimes the idea of Honeycrisp apples, pumpkin pie, and bright red Fall Leaves... call my name, but I can't answer.
AND on top of all of this... High School in America ruined my life. The single most terrible thing in my entire life, up until this point: was High School... Why the Fuck (pardon my French ^.^) did I opt to go
Mom, Dad, don't worry (t'inquiette pas) I am still having a great time, I'm smart enough to know what I want, what I think I want, and what I need.
Love to all....
Bisoux and Bread (I've been eating a lot of it this week, need to either cut back, or start running and extra km)
Jared
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